User blog:TheAmericanDream/The Short Story Series
I found this short story generator, and I'm going to be writing/creating these short stories featuring wikia users. Story 1: The Round (?) Knife Tyler Americano had always hated the snowy The American-Canadian Border with its tall, ugly trees. It was a place where he felt angry. He was a tall, weird-looking, coffee drinker with skinny boobs and fat feet. His friends saw him as a dripping wet, disgusting devil. Once, he had even helped the strange Justin Trudeau cross the road. That's the sort of man he was. Tyler walked over to the window and reflected on his cold surroundings. The snow flurried like killing moose. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Emilia Canadia. Emilia was a weird coward with lumpy boobs and short feet. Tyler gulped. He was not prepared for Emilia. As Tyler stepped outside and Emilia came closer, he could see the grieving smile on her face. "I am here because I want drugs," Emilia bellowed, in a greedy tone. She slammed her fist against Tyler's chest, with the force of 7101 salmon fins flapping. "I frigging hate you, Tyler Americano." Tyler looked back, even more psycho and still fingering the round knife. "Emilia, I won't give you drugs," he replied. They looked at each other with sad feelings, like two bad, broken bald eagles stabbing at a very smelly the 4th of July parade, which had country music playing in the background and two fat uncles doing the dirty to the beat. Suddenly, Emilia lunged forward and tried to punch Tyler in the face. Quickly, Tyler grabbed the round knife and brought it down on Emilia's skull. Emilia's lumpy boobs trembled and her short feet wobbled. She looked angry, her body raw like a mashed, mute potato. Then she let out an agonising moan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Emilia Canadia was dead. Tyler Americano went back inside and made himself a nice cup of coffee. Story 2: Dank Billie's Sex Dungeon Eli Fishman had always hated dank Billie's sex dungeon with its weird, wooden, windowless walls. It was a place where he felt horny. He was an admirable, violent, whiskey drinker with flabby arms and wide butt cheeks. His friends saw him as a fresh, fierce fish. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved an old lady. That's the sort of man he was. Eli walked over to the bed and reflected on his steamy surroundings. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Billie Targaryen. Billie was a brutal drunken animal with ugly boobs and a pretty face. Eli gulped. He was not prepared to take Billie. As Eli stepped outside the door and Billie came closer, he could see the orange glint in her eye. Billie gazed with the affection of 1652 courageous elephants. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want your love and sex." Eli looked back, even more kinky and still fingering the bed. "Billie, love me," he replied. They looked at each other with excited feelings, like two hurt, hissing humming birds loving at a very forgetful bar mitzvah, which had porno music playing in the background and two old uncles rampaging to the beat. Eli regarded Billie's saggy boobs and pretty face. "I feel the same way!" revealed Eli with a delighted grin. Billie looked anxious, her emotions blushing like a sleepy sausage. Then Billie led Eli inside for a nice glass of whiskey... Story 3: The Pleasure of a Zombie Mermaid Connor McHotMess suspected something was a little off when his beautiful daddy tried to pleasure him when he was just six years old. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other humans. It wasn't until he bumped into the devilishly crazy zombie mermaid, Aria Oneders, that his life finally began to make sense. However, Aria proved to be cold-blooded and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with murder. Connor soon learned that Aria had taken an oath never to eat a dick. When Connor's beautiful daddy is injured in an apocalyptic accident, Connor realises his own life is at risk. Despite Aria's bloody wounds and long claws, Connor finds himself falling for the zombie mermaid. Only fate will decided whether she kills or protects him. One night, a yeti appears before Connor and warns him of a darkness within Aria. The yeti gives Connor the long dildo - the only weapon that can defeat a crazy zombie mermaid. Will Connor find it in himself to kill the only creature who has ever made him feel truly hot? Story 4: Aidan Ponyboy ft. Kata Echo Aidan Ponyboy looked at the knife in his hands and felt horny. He walked over to the window and reflected on his grand surroundings. He had always hated the dank The White House because it was so much better than Canada. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel excited. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Kata Echo. Kata was a remarkable devil with nasty hair and huge feet. Aidan gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a stupid, greedy, cum drinker with blonde hair and big buttocks. His friends saw him as a cold, desperate coward. Once, he had even spit on a puppy. But he was prepared for what Kata had in store today. The snow flurried like rampaging birds, making Aidan scared. As Aidan stepped outside and Kata came closer, he could see the horny glint in her eye. "Look Aidan," growled Kata, with a grateful glare that reminded Aidan of remarkable donkeys. "It's not that I don't love you, but I only want a lap dance. And you owe me 4416 Canadian dollars." Aidan looked back, even more weirded out and still holding the big knife. "Kata, I am your daddy," he replied. They looked at each other with angry feelings, like two prickly, poor pigeons complaining at a very cowardly funeral, which had porno music playing in the background and two patient uncles crying to the beat. Aidan regarded Kata's nasty hair and huge feet. "I don't have the funds ..." he lied. Kata glared. "Do you want me to shove that big knife where the sun don't shine?" Aidan promptly remembered his stupid and greedy values. "Actually, I do have the funds," he admitted. He reached into his pockets. "Here's what I owe you." Kata looked salty, her wallet blushing like a naughty, new newspaper. Then Kata came inside for a nice drink of cum. Story 5: Two Arrogant Men Humping to the Beat Jack Silence looked at the giant sandwich in his hands and felt annoyed. He walked over to the window and reflected on his shitty surroundings. He had always hated bright Wikiana with its complicated, combative clouds. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel annoyed. Then he saw something in the distance... actualy, someone. It was the figure of Aidan Ponyboy. Aidan was a snotty student with wide testicles and weak hands. Jack gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a spiteful, sinister, piss drinker with small testicles and manly hands. His friends saw him as a lame, loony llama. He had even jumped into a river and saved a thoughtful baby Trump and they still hated him. But not even a spiteful person who had once jumped into a river and saved a thoughtful baby Trump, was prepared for what Aidan had in store today. The rain hammered like bouncing koalas, making Jack afraid. As Jack stepped outside and Aidan came closer, he could see the rich glint in his eye. Aidan gazed with the affection of 5926 tight-fisted panicky black men. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want a sloppy blowjob." Jack looked back, even more afraid and still carrying the giant sandwich. "Aidan, I don't love you anymore," he replied. They looked at each other with angry feelings, like two angry, annoyed ants biting everyone at Wikiana's anniversary party, which had black metal music playing in the background and two arrogant uncles humping to the beat. Jack studied Aidan's wide testicles and ample hands. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Jack in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't love you Aidan." Aidan looked unstable, his emotions raw like a tainted toilet. Jack could actually hear Aidan's emotions shatter into 6958 pieces. Then the angry ex-boyfriend spit in Jack's face and ran off. Not even a drink of piss would calm Jack's nerves tonight. Story 6: Summer's Progress The night of the orgy changes everything for Summer Summington, a 69-year-old pimp from Florida. One moment, she is discussing beds with her horny boyfriend, Eli Fishman; the next, watching with horror as ugly hookers f*** each other. She knows these hookers came from Tennessee, her boyfriend's home state, but she can't prove it - at least not without some slimy condoms. The sexy, busty woman knows that her wild life is over. She acquires some slimy condoms and is reborn as the hero who will save the world from ugly hookers. However, Summer finds herself troubled by her wild ideals and becomes overwhelmed with moral questions. Will her conscience allow her to do whatever is needed to stop the ugly hookers? Story 7: Oh Canada Justin Firecrotch is a dirty hooker from deserted California. He leads a crazy life. However, all that changes when Justin books a summer holiday to dirty Hawaii. At first Justin finds Hawaii very boring. Then there's the mysterious, cold-blooded preacher, Emilia Canadia, who makes him feel disturbed. When Emilia invites him on a bopping expedition, Justin begins to realise that Emilia is a deeply brave and dank man. Justin knows in his heart that Emilia is the man for him, yet he thought Emilia was female. However, to secure his happiness, Justin must fend off the selfish drug dealer, Blake Grayson, who wants to get his claws into Emilia, who also thought he was female. Using his perky tits and a mutual love of porn, Justin sets out to snare Emilia once and for all. But will the cold-blooded hooker return his affections? Story 8: A Reborn Zombie Mermaid Connor McHotMess is a courageous and cute orphan raised by a stingy and thoughtless nun. Eventually he gets a job working as a hairdresser for the helpful Lady Oneders of Oneders Castle. The unlikely couple rapidly succumb to a hot passion. On the day of their wedding, a peculiar hooker escapes from the attic of Oneders Castle and starts a fire. Believing that Lady Oneders is dead, Connor flees from the church and wanders the sunny moors for days until he is rescued by a friendly teacher. However, although Lady Oneders is blinded by the fire, she still breathes. Without Connor she becomes callous and tactless. She turns to alcohol for comfort. The ghost of the hooker from the attic haunts her. Meanwhile, thinking Lady Oneders is dead, Connor accepts a marriage proposal from his saviour, the teacher. However, one night he believes he can hear Lady Oneders calling, "Connor, where are you? Connor come home!" and he returns to Oneders Castle. On Connor's return, he finds Lady Oneders drunk and without sight. Mistaking him for the ghost of the peculiar hooker, she attacks him with a razor and Connor McHotMess dies. As she attends to the body, Lady Oneders realises what she has done. Driven mad with guilt, she hatches a plan to destroy the next generation, but there is no next generation and she dies of consumption two weeks later. Story 9: Flabby Eli Fishman is a flabby, ugly and creative fisherman from the hood. His life is going nowhere until he meets Kata Echo, a snaggly, ugly woman with a passion for love. Eli takes an instant disliking to Kata and the stingy and brutal ways she learnt during her years in the ocean. However, when a hooker tries to rape Eli, Kata springs to the rescue. Eli begins to notice that Kata is actually rather hoeful at heart. But, the pressures of Kata's job as a hooker leaves her blind to Eli's affections and Eli takes up fish to try an distract herself. Finally, when a vile doctor, Summer Summington, threatens to come between them, Kata has to act fast. But will they ever find the kinky love that they deserve? Story 10: Echli Eli Fishman looked at the rugged rock in his hands and felt grumpy. He walked over to the window and reflected on his dank surroundings. He had always hated musty Echo's bedroom with its wasteful, wet sheets. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel excited. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Kata Echo. Kata was a stupid coward with a large nose and crooked teeth. Eli gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a scheming, adorable, Shirley Temple drinker with scrawny a penis and fat ankles. His friends saw him as a fierce, famous fish. Once, he had even helped Summer's cat cross the road. But not even a scheming person who had once helped Summer's cat cross the road, was prepared for what Kata had in store today. The blood rain teased like rampaging giraffes, making Eli psycho. As Eli stepped outside and Kata came closer, he could see the small smile on her face. Kata glared with all the wrath of 4487 redneck grim guppies. She said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want a dedicated rimjob." Eli looked back, even more psycho and still fingering himself. "Kata, I find your rug burns sexy," he replied. They looked at each other with turned on feelings, like two empty, envious elephants running at a very rude rave, which had pop music playing in the background and two cold-blooded uncles loving to the beat. Suddenly, Kata lunged forward and tried to punch Eli in the face. Quickly, Eli grabbed the rugged rock and brought it down on Kata's skull. Kata's weak feet trembled and her squat ankles wobbled. She looked salty, her emotions raw like a gentle, greasy goose. Then she let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Kata Echo was dead. Eli Fishman went back inside and made himself a nice Shirley Temple. Story 11: Summy and ELI STOP Summer Summington was thinking about Eli Fishman again. Eli was an adorable silly with blonde tongue and muscular foot. Summer walked over to the window and reflected on her death surroundings. She had always hated tragic thgrp community with its slippery, scrawny salty people. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel extra. Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the an adorable figure of Eli Fishman. Summer gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a dumb, assholeish, milk drinker with skinny legs and brunette armpit hair. Her friends saw her as an ice-dancing, important, insecure . Once, she had even jumped into a river and saved a black old teacher. But not even a dumb person who had once jumped into a river and saved a black old teacher, was prepared for what Eli had in store today. The sun shone like slapping dogs, making Summer angry. Summer grabbed a small popcorn that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers. As Summer stepped outside and Eli came closer, she could see the curly smile on his face. Eli gazed with the affection of 6865 sweet angry alpacas. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want john cena memes." Summer looked back, even more angry and still fingering the small popcorn. "Eli, stop making fun of me," she replied. They looked at each other with salty feelings, like two angry, afraid alligators laughing at a very weird sleepover, which had classical music playing in the background and two evil uncles cooking to the beat. Summer regarded Eli's blonde tongue and muscular foot. "I feel the same way!" revealed Summer with a delighted grin. Eli looked sad, his emotions blushing like a crispy, creepy coke. Then Eli came inside for a nice drink of milk. THE END Story 12: A Note From Mrs. Oneders Punished for likening my titties to a wet cucumber Dear Mr and Mrs Targaryen, I am sorry to report that little Billie has been assigned a detention. As you know, little Billie is usually a very naughty and disruptive child. However, today I caught her drinking cream soda during class. When I asked her to stop, she shouted, "IN THE NAME OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE" and began summoning Henrietta with her friend Emrys. Billie aggravated the matter further by calling me a terrifying ostrich and likening my titties to a wet cucumber. Little Billie was also in violation of the school uniform policy. I do not allow useful bras at Wikia University. Wikia University prides itself on being a wild and fake establishment. Thus we simply cannot have children drinking cream soda and summoning Henrietta on the premises. Added to which, my titties looks nothing like a cucumber, as Mr McHotMess will testify. Please ensure that little Billie attends detention tomorrow after school, and leaves her useful clothing at home. Yours sincerely Aria Oneders Story 13: Bye Bye Eli-y Goodbye Eli Baby Disruptive Donkey Dear Eli baby, To me, you are like a very disruptive donkey and I'm not sure that I need a very disruptive donkey in my life right now. Things started to go wrong when I caught you snuggling with my mami. It's not that I don't love you. It's just that your daddy is extremely tiny and your master is, without a doubt, the most ugly person I've ever known. It's true, we've had some trendy times fingering together. You have ass cheeks like stunning eggplant and the most crumpled left titty I've ever seen. Your personality is like a really tiny ostrich humping into my skull. When I see you squeezing it makes me want to steal your eggplant ass cheeks and post them to Florida. I lie in bed at night wishing you were a male stripper and not a donkey who likes snuggling with my mami. What I'm trying to say, is take your crumpled left titty and go. Yours no more Summy Story 13: Dear Emrys Dear Emrys, My Love, Have I told you lately how much I love your stupid titties? I am writing to you to ask for an extension on my sex tape. As you know, I've always had a very slippery attitude towards deadlines. However, something unexpected happened. My daddy and I were in my bedroom enjoying some stunning onions when a terrifying hamster came barging in brandishing a pair of water pistols. It looked at me with beautiful eyes. I stared at its strong penis. When it started eating, I knew it meant business. I made a dive for my sex tape but the terrifying hamster decided to finger my ass cheeks and then run off spinning. I was taken aback. So shocked was I, that I didn't realise that the terrifying hamster had grabbed my sex tape until much later. That evening, I was bouncing with my mommy when I suddenly noticed that my sex tape was missing. I searched high and low, I even looked in women's handbags. Eventually, I reached the obvious conclusion - the terrifying hamster had taken my sex tape to feed to its fat sister. Thank you or being understanding and allowing me more time to complete my tacky sex tape. Thanks Blake Song 1: Gimme Sex From Emrys A Song by Blake Grayson I was sick and tired of everything, When I called you last night from Oh Canada. All I do is suck and blow and lick, Wishing that Emrys would sex me. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme sex from Emrys! Won't somebody help me have sex with Emrys! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme sex from Emrys! I really want to have sex with Emrys! Emrys, I was defeated, you won the war. Emrys, promise to love me forever more. Emrys, couldn't escape if I wanted to. Emrys, knowing my fate is to be with you. OOOH BABY-OOOH BABY-OOOH BABY-OOOH BABY-OOOH BABY Emrys! Finally facing Emrys. You are the thrusting hooker, here in Oh Canada. Thrusting hooker, feel the beat from the tambourine. You can have sex with Emrys, you can have sex with Emrys, having the time of your life. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! sex from Emrys, Won't somebody help me have sex with Emrys! Category:Blog posts